The mirror can be your best coach or your worst critic, and quite often it's both before you've brushed your teeth.
The lie
"I'll be happy when I look like that."
The short version
- Arnold fixed his weak calves by putting them on show, every day.
- Use the mirror to check how you move and to see honest progress.
- If it starts running your life, that isn't motivation. It's worth getting help for, and help works.
Today's rep: Next time you pass a mirror, check one thing about your posture, then walk away. Jump to it
Arnold's trousers
He cut his trousers off to shame his calves into growing. It worked.
Arnold Schwarzenegger won Mr Olympia seven times. He went on to play a robot sent back in time to kill someone, and later became Governor of California, which is arguably the less believable of the two. Early on, though, he had a problem. His calves were rubbish. Everything else about him looked carved out of a cliff by someone with a grudge against cliffs. Then, at the bottom, two disappointing little calves, like a statue that ran out of marble at the knees.
Most people would have worn long trousers. Arnold cut the bottoms off his training trousers so his calves were on show all the time, to everyone, including himself.1 Nowhere to hide. So he trained them until there was nothing left to hide.
That's the good mirror. Look honestly. Spot the weak link. Work on it. Get on with your day. It's also where you check how you move: is your back straight, are your knees going the same way as your toes, is that a squat or are you just slowly sitting down on nothing. A mirror answers all of that faster than any app.
Even Arnold
Seven Mr Olympias, and the mirror still has a go at him every morning.
Here's the other side. In 2023, in his seventies and with several statues of himself, Arnold told Howard Stern that every day he looks in the mirror and tells himself he looks bad.2
That's the lie in action. "I'll be happy when I look like that." Arnold looked like that. Arnold looked like that more than anyone has ever looked like anything. He's got the statues to prove it. And the voice in the mirror still turned up every morning to have a word. Happy isn't waiting for you at the end of a body. If you can't find some of it now, the mirror won't sell you any later.
When the mirror turns on you
For some people the mirror stops being a tool and becomes a trap. Body dysmorphic disorder, or BDD, is a mental health condition where you spend a lot of time worrying about flaws in how you look that other people can't see, or barely notice.3 In gyms there's a version called muscle dysmorphia, sometimes nicknamed "bigorexia", where people see themselves as small or weak however big they really are.4
It isn't vanity and it isn't rare. It's linked to training through injury, very strict eating, and often to steroid misuse.5
Signs worth noticing
- Spending hours a day thinking about how you look.
- Checking mirrors constantly, or avoiding them completely.
- Comparing yourself with other people all the time.
- Training through pain or injury because missing a session feels unbearable.
- Hiding your body under baggy layers.
- Cancelling on friends, family or work to train or prepare food.
If that sounds like you, it's worth talking to someone, and it does get better with the right help. You can see your GP, or refer yourself to NHS talking therapies without a GP referral.6
The BDD Foundation is a UK charity that supports people with BDD, including muscle dysmorphia. Visit bddfoundation.org or email support@bddfoundation.org.5
If you're struggling to cope, Samaritans are there day or night on 116 123.7
Mostly for women
Men, this bit is mostly about the pressure women get to shrink. You can skip ahead. Although if you've ever sucked your stomach in for a holiday photo, you already know the feeling.
The other way the mirror turns
The mirror doesn't only turn on people who feel too small. For men, it often goes that way. Women are far more often told the opposite: be smaller, thinner, tighter, more "toned", and ideally filtered. The UK eating disorder charity Beat notes that men are more likely to focus on muscle, and less on thinness.8 Both are the same trap with different furniture.
"Toned", by the way, isn't a special kind of body. It's muscle you can see. You get it by building muscle, not by eating less of everything until there's less of you. More on that in the last chapter.
If the mirror has you cutting food right back, skipping meals to make up for eating, or exercising to cancel out what you ate, that isn't discipline. It's worth talking to someone. Beat's helpline is 0808 801 0677 in England, 0808 801 0432 in Scotland, 0808 801 0433 in Wales and 0808 801 0434 in Northern Ireland.9 Your GP can help too.
Using the mirror well
Check how you move, then walk away. One look, one job.
- Use it to check how you move, not to pass sentence on yourself.
- Look at the whole picture: how you sleep, how you feel, how the stairs feel.
- If progress photos make you feel worse, stop taking them. The next chapter has better ways to measure.
- Be as fair to yourself as you would be to a mate. If a mate said to you what you say to the mirror, you'd stop going to the pub with him.
Your rep for this chapter
Next time you pass a mirror, check one thing about your posture, then walk away. One look. One job. Done. No second opinions from the voice.
The lie: "I'll be happy when I look like that."
The short version
- Arnold fixed his weak calves by putting them on show, every day.
- Use the mirror to check how you move and to see honest progress.
- If it starts running your life, that isn't motivation. It's worth getting help for, and help works.
Your rep
Next time you pass a mirror, check one thing about your posture, then walk away. One look. One job. Done. No second opinions from the voice.
Your browser forgets. Your photos don't. Save it, and the rep turns up in your camera roll at 7am when you're looking for something else.
Sources
1. Schwarzenegger A, Dobbins B. The New Encyclopedia of Modern Bodybuilding. Simon and Schuster; 1998. The calf story is also retold by BarBend.
2. Best Life. Arnold Schwarzenegger on looking in the mirror, from The Howard Stern Show. 11 October 2023.
3. NHS. Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD).
4. Pope HG Jr, Gruber AJ, Choi P, Olivardia R, Phillips KA. Muscle dysmorphia: an underrecognized form of body dysmorphic disorder. Psychosomatics. 1997;38(6):548-557.
5. BDD Foundation (UK charity 1153753). Muscle dysmorphia. bddfoundation.org.
6. NHS. NHS talking therapies.
7. Samaritans: call 116 123, free, day or night.
8. Beat. Do men get eating disorders? On beateatingdisorders.org.uk.
9. Beat, the UK eating disorder charity. beateatingdisorders.org.uk. Helpline (England) 0808 801 0677; Scotland 0808 801 0432; Wales 0808 801 0433; Northern Ireland 0808 801 0434.