Bring a mate

"Nobody wants to come with me" is usually said by someone who hasn't asked anybody. They've thought about asking. They've drafted a text, deleted it, decided their mate would say no, imagined the exact tone of the no, and been offended by the imaginary no. Then they've gone back to the sofa, having had an entire falling-out with someone who doesn't know it happened. Meanwhile the mate is at home, on their own sofa, thinking exactly the same thing about you.

Ask. The worst answer is "no", and "no" has never once hurt anyone, apart from in your head, where it lives rent-free and keeps the heating on full.

Next: Why it worksBack to the contents

A review of the research found that support from other people, whether family, friends or a group, was linked to people sticking with exercise and enjoying it more.¹ It's much harder to bail on a walk when someone's waiting at the end of your road in a woolly hat, stamping their feet and looking at their watch.

Next: How to startBack to the contents

• Home first. Do the week one session together, in the same room or over a video call. Nobody has to look good. Nobody does.
• Then a weekly walk. Same time, same place. Make it a fixture, like bin day, but with fewer foxes.
• Check in. Text each other when you've done a session. A thumbs up is plenty. A paragraph is too much.
• Share the jobs. One plans the route, one brings the coffee. Morning coffee only. See chapter 16.

Next: ConfidenceBack to the contents

Going outside, or into a gym, for the first time is easier with someone next to you. Nobody's looking at you, by the way. They're all looking at themselves, in the mirror, wondering about their calves. But it still helps to have someone to not be looked at with. If nerves are the big thing for you, this bit of the gym etiquette guide is written for you.

If that's harder for women, it isn't in your head. Women in England are still less likely to be active than men,² and Sport England's research found fear of judgement was the biggest thing stopping them. Their This Girl Can campaign was built around exactly that.³ Women-only walking and running groups exist in most towns, and they are full of people who felt exactly the same on day one.

Next: No mate? There's parkrunBack to the contents

parkrun is a free, timed 5k every Saturday morning, in parks all over the country. You can run it, jog it or walk it, and plenty of people walk it.⁴ Turn up on your own and you'll leave with about four hundred people you sort of know.

Next: Picking your mateBack to the contents

• Someone reliable. A mate who cancels is worse than no mate, because now you're stood at the end of the road in a woolly hat on your own.
• Someone roughly your pace, or patient enough to match it.
• Not someone who turns every walk into a race, unless you like that sort of thing, in which case good luck to you both.
• Dogs count. They're poor at encouragement and stop to sniff everything, but they have never once cancelled because of a sore throat.

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