Pills, powders, coffee, and the bloke in the changing room

Walk into any supplement shop and you'll be greeted by a wall of tubs the size of paint tins, every one of them black, every one with a lightning bolt on it, every one named like a heavy metal band from Doncaster. RIPPED. ANNIHILATE. SHREDDED NUCLEAR VENGEANCE XTREME, now in strawberry. A man with forearms like bags of satsumas will tell you what you need, and what you need, by remarkable coincidence, is everything on the shelf behind him.

Here's what he won't put on a poster. A beginner who walks, does home sessions, sleeps and eats a decent plate will make great progress without a single tub. Nearly all of the effect is the training. The tub is a rounding error with a logo.

Next: Protein powder: food in a tubBack to the contents

Protein powder isn't magic. It's food, dried out and put in a tub with a picture of a man who has never smiled. It's handy if you struggle to get enough protein from meals (chapter 14), and it mostly helps by adding to the total you eat across the day.¹ If you already eat enough, you don't need it, however angry the man on the tub looks about that.

Next: CreatineBack to the contents

Creatine is one of the most researched supplements in sport. It helps with short bursts of hard effort, like lifting, and has a strong safety record in healthy adults. The usual amount studied is 3 to 5g a day.² It isn't a steroid, whatever your nan read. Your body makes it, and it's found in meat and fish.² And it isn't only for men with necks like a bollard. A review of the research in women found it helps strength and exercise performance, with no more side effects than a dummy pill.³

One thing people panic about: the first kilo or so you gain on creatine is mostly extra water stored in your muscles, not fat.² Dr Shamington will notice, and he'll be thrilled. Ignore him. If you have a kidney problem or take regular medication, check with your GP first.

Next: Vitamin DBack to the contents

The NHS advises everyone in the UK to consider taking 10 micrograms of vitamin D a day in autumn and winter. That's when there isn't enough sunlight for your skin to make it, which in this country means roughly September to whenever. Don't take more than 100 micrograms a day, as too much can be harmful.⁴

Next: Folic acid, and "for her"Back to the contents

Trying for a baby, or pregnant? Folic acid is the one supplement the NHS actively asks you to take: 400 micrograms every day, from before you're pregnant until you're 12 weeks pregnant.⁵

You'll also see supplements sold specially "for women", usually in a softer colour, with a flower on. Put the label next to the ordinary version. If the ingredients match, buy the cheaper one. The flower does nothing.

Next: CoffeeBack to the contents

Good news. Caffeine genuinely helps exercise performance for most people.⁶ Up to 400mg a day is considered safe for most adults. That's roughly three or four mugs of coffee, depending how strong you make it.⁷ If you're pregnant, the NHS limit is 200mg a day.⁸

The catch is sleep. Caffeine hangs around in your system for hours, like a guest who says "right, I'll make a move" and then doesn't. In one study, caffeine taken six hours before bed still cut sleep by more than an hour.⁹ So keep it to the morning and early afternoon. A pre-workout drink at 7pm is a sleepless night with a gym membership. Lots of pre-workouts are very high in caffeine, so read the label, ideally before you've drunk it.

Next: Fat burnersBack to the contents

Most "fat burner" pills are expensive caffeine with optimistic packaging. Some are far worse. A chemical called DNP has been sold online as a fat burner. It's an industrial chemical, and the Food Standards Agency has warned that it has killed people.¹⁰ If anything promises to melt fat, walk away. Fat isn't butter. Nothing melts it but time and work.

Supplements can also contain things that aren't on the label, including banned substances. If you compete in a tested sport, or just want peace of mind, look for products tested by a scheme like Informed Sport.¹¹

Next: The bloke in the changing roomBack to the contents

Every gym has one. He's very big, very friendly, very tanned for October, and he has a mate who can get you "something to help". He'll say it quietly, near the hand dryer, like he's selling you a watch. That something is often anabolic steroids.

Steroids have a long, strange history, and they get a whole page of their own: Steroids: the real story. The short version for a beginner: you don't need them, they carry serious health risks,¹² and they won't do the boring work for you. Nothing will. Not even the stuff from the hand dryer.

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